The Arts of Growing Up

Just Some Stuff You Need to Know

Decide For Yourself

4. Learning to make your own decisions is a skill that you can easily get better at. Keep in mind that in order to agree or say yes to some things, you must learn to disagree (politely), and say no to other things. It’s not about being contrary or confrontational, it’s just learning your own mind along with how to stick to what you feel is right and what is best for you in a given situation. Give yourself permission to change your mind though. Changing your mind is often the first step towards learning something new.

If you allow others to make your decisions you are basically giving them control over your life. You might have overly protective family or friends or be easily influenced by what you see in the media. The easiest way to remedy this is just to recognize it and start choosing for yourself.

Life actually gets a lot easier when you make your own decisions. It’s also a lot less stressful. It’s easy to let life just happen to you and hope that decisions and issues will just resolve themselves but they usually do not. In fact things generally get worse the longer you wait to deal with them. When you face a choice or a problem, decide on a plan to resolve it and execute that plan right away.

Your decision may range from the trivial to the vital and they can affect your day or your future. If you are uncertain how to make good decisions try using the following steps:

1. List all of your options – write them down somewhere. Don’t be judgmental at this point, write down even the options that seem ridiculous.
2. Think about each option – ask yourself how you feel about and what the consequences are for each and consider if it will affect anyone else.
3. List out your priorities and compare them to your options. If you have important or clear priorities it can quickly reduce the amount of options you are looking at.
4. Decide on your choice. Many times your choice will already be in your head at this point, it sneaks up on you before you’ve even really made your decision. You should feel good about the decision and yourself.
5. Commit to the decision and start devising a plan or a goal to make it happen.

Making your own decisions strengthens your personal identity and your confidence in your ability to assess and deal with various situations.

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Decide for Yourself

Think for Yourself

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