The Arts of Growing Up

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Pick A Destination, Know Where You Are Going

3. Many, many people don’t know where they are headed when they leave home, even if they have a job, an apartment with a friend, or a school picked out. That’s actually ok, and obviously pretty normal. But you will have some idea in your head of what makes you happy, what you’d like to learn more about and what kind of work you are willing to do to make some money. Think about those things, write them down, and look at them. Choose a direction to go in, whether it’s school, military, or work that somehow aims you on the path towards getting what you want. Some great advice to keep in mind is this – if you have a destination in mind, you can head that direction. If you change your mind, you can recalibrate your course for a different direction. But if you don’t know where you’re headed, then you wander around and don’t get anywhere. So pick a destination or some sort of goal, even a simple one, and move towards it.

Use a day planner if needed, but plan out your days including days off. Make sure that the tasks that you are responsible for actually get done. If you are working with goals that you have set for yourself you don’t really need anyone else’s approval and you function more autonomously when you don’t seek it. An interesting side effect of attaining this self-reliant mindset is the alluring scent of confidence without arrogance that adds style to and compliments any wardrobe.

If you are not a natural-born planner try to break down all of your long-term goals into steps. Its much less intimidating to approach something if you do it in steps plus you won’t miss important pieces along the way. This method not only offers moments of satisfaction in the process of working towards that long-term goal, but it also gives you flexibility and room for incremental successes and setbacks. Breaking your goals down to manageable steps allows for multiple points where you can change your mind if circumstances have changed. It also helps put you back on track if you are interrupted and lose focus in the middle, just go to the next step in the process and pick up where you left off.

Growing Up

New York City Stamp


Become Informed

2. Becoming informed does not mean you need to know everything or watch every news cast but you do need to be aware of the world around you and know how to carry out your responsibilities. How can you make effective decisions with no information? For ordinary every situations most information is a mere internet search away. Need a recipe or want to figure out how to apply for financial aid? Use your favorite search engine. If you don’t already have a computer there is usually a library nearby. They are friendly places and open to everyone. Don’t wear out your friends and family, try to resolve your simpler questions and issues by yourself.

When important issues arise though don’t be shy about contacting your parents, family members, or friends. There are some problems and decisions you just shouldn’t make by yourself and the advice of others can really make a difference. There are things that experience and practical wisdom bring to some situations that are invaluable.  Don’t expect someone else to handle it for you though, as experience can be the best teacher. Try to figure out as much as possible for yourself and then go talk to someone you trust. With this method you can go and talk to your parents or whoever you choose and participate in the conversation as a younger person asking an older person for advice and instead of as a youth asking for help or instruction.

The self-reliant person is always interested in new experiences and opportunities to learn….

Learn about the world around you

Learn about the world around you

Assume Responsibility

The Art of Growing Up

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

1. Assume Responsibility

Part of growing up is taking the responsibility of caring for yourself and making your own informed decisions. You should not want to or have to be told to care for yourself, eat properly, clean up after yourself or show up for work (or class) on time. If you want to be independent and (especially if you want to be successful) you must choose to be responsible. That doesn’t actually mean you will never have fun again though, and responsibility truly does bring its own rewards.

Get to know your alarm clock and get yourself up in the mornings, even on days when you don’t have obligations. If you have a phone or computer they both have alarms and calendars. You don’t need someone to tell you when you have appointments, when class starts, or when bills are due. Desk calendars work very well still and are fairly inexpensive. Understand that you will be paying the dentist and doctor from now on, so do take care of your own self first. Look after yourself, your teeth, and your living space. If they start to smell, clean them promptly. Eat like your mother taught you to, it’s actually far less expensive than relying on fast food and your insides will thank you as you get older. Don’t just tell yourself to do things, go ahead and get up and do them. Usually these things don’t even take up much time and you will spot yourself providing excuses for not doing them – try to catch that and remember that there will still be time for games and playing around, there always is.

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand Randy Pausch

A Self-Reliant State of Mind

You may not be fully self-sufficient when you move out on your own but you can easily become self-reliant. Becoming self-reliant is an important part of the foundation that you lay for yourself to build upon. Many people don’t realize until they are on their own how much their parents actually did for them. From grocery shopping to maintaining the vehicles, your parents probably made your life easier in many ways.

A person with a self-reliant state of mind does not wait around for someone else to take care of things that need to be taken care of. If you encounter a problem take the initiative and try to figure out how to resolve it yourself.  Remember though, in most cases you don’t have to re-invent the wheel, a rational thought process and some common sense will be your greatest friends.

4 Steps to Self-Reliance

  1. Assume Responsibility
  2. Become Informed
  3. Pick a destination, know where you are going
  4. Decide for yourself, don’t be led by others

Uncle Sam I want you to think for yourself selfreliance

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